A Saudi Woman’s response to your questions
Enjoy! I’m learning so much already. Her clarification is a must read for everyone.
Dear all,
Cheers for the responses. Yes we should bridge those cultural gaps which are keeping us apart and the best way to do it is to stop hearing from the media and start hearing from the individuals. That’s what I decided to do long before and when I did I developed a better understanding of the western culture, thanks to many great friends I had in the UK. Grace you are doing an awesome job in bringing us together.
Jen B.
Thanks for the remark. Please feel free to use the post in your class. Bear in mind however that Saudi is a different context than Afghanistan, completely different cultures, economic and political systems. To me it might sound like putting together china and Greece in one context. In all cases I would truly love to contribute in whatever research your doing- Good luck.
Chris,
When you ask “would Saudi women prefer not to wear the Abaya?” you are not talking (just like the case with the US media) about the women of the capital city Riyadh are you? The ladies consistently showing on CNN and FOX news covered from head to toes and walking behind their men in a mall do barely represent one culture among many in saudi (Riyadh is the most conservative spot in Saudi, one of the most conservative internationally). Thus, when we say “Saudi women” we should take into consideration other parts of Saudi Arabia Jeddah and the eastern province as well as the southern regions of the country; those regions have multicultural population and more liberal views toward life and religion.
To answer your question objectively I would say that generally women here feel that they are being treated unfairly by both the society and the international media as well. Being an activist in this field I would say that Saudi women are unhappy with the fact that Abaya is being forced as law that one could be criminalized and punished if violating. However what frustrates women more is to be labeled by the international media basing on one region which Riyadh. Similar model would be referring to the people of Arizona as the “US population” when Arizona is just representing one culturally conservative state among many others.
But yea Saudi women would like if the Abaya was a choice a woman could make according to her own belief and not someone else’s.
Now as for “Are there groups actively trying to overthrow these archaic mores?”. Well yes, there are many unofficial groups of Saudi female academics, businesswomen and journalists who are trying to reach the saudi official to bring some change. Now more than ever I can feel some changing in the air coming.
As for Grace, thanks for the remarks, just a little clarification; the Quran never specified a certain area of the body to be covered. It was referred to as “cover some of their bodies” without defining how much that “some” is. It’s totally subjective. It’s the prophet Mohammed who said once “woman, as they get adult, should not show much of her body except for this and this” he pointed to his face and hands.. He never criminalized it; it was more of an opinion or a suggestion. It is well explained in another interesting story which I would like to share here. It is when the Prophet Mohammed was once walking with one of his fellow mates in a market (markets were mixed places unlike in “modern” Saudi where they are mostly gender sections- another contradiction between the real Islam and human interpretation of it). So while they were walking, a beautiful woman walked by, the prophet’s mate looked at her she was not covering and she was beautiful.. So as the guy
was looking at her the Prophet turned his mate’s face to the other side indicating “do not stare!”.. he never arrested the woman never comment on her not even a single word although he would definitely have loved if she was wearing some decent clothes; at the end of the day it was a choice she had to make and that is the moral of the story.
In modern Saudi the lady would be arrested and sentenced to 1 year jail and 200 lashes for such a thing! 
It is interesting how far we have gone against the “real” teachings of Islam!
Abaya – A Saudi women’s response
Grace,
It’s interesting how we perceive things differently as we come from different backgrounds. One of the key lines in this entry is “There are times when I don’t want to be identified from a distance, wear my pajamas and not want to do my hair”. Fair enough, now think of it oppositely, what if those rare moments where you want to be unidentified become your whole outdoor life, not even a choice you can make whenever you want. Think of you “feeling like doing your hair nice” and perhaps show it off a little but yet you can’t? Isn’t it a basic human right to wear what you feel like wearing as long as you don’t harm others?
I would think of me getting ready for a party, all dressed up feeling my beauty that God has given to me and then right before I take off I am forced by the “power of the law” to put a black dress and a scarf upon everything and in a minute transform to be someone else. Someone that does not reflect who I really am, how I think or even look. Besides, don’t men as well have those moments where they want to wonder around in pajamas and not to worry about being attractive? Yet the law gives them a full choice of what to put on!
Originally, Abaya as a notion was meant to make a woman unattractive individual. The mind that first came up with the Abaya or indeed any sort of veil was based on the idea of “if we could make one of the 2 genders looks unattractive then we can retain morality in society” but since it was basically a man’s mind then the Abaya had to go to the weaker and (at that time) non-educated dependent gender (women). Being an insider I would assure that in the origin of Islam, nothing of what we call nowadays “Saudi Abaya” was mentioned. The texts of Quran were clear in promoting clothing decency and modesty without restricting it to a certain type of clothes or indeed a color. It was one of those things which were left wide open to what fits the era one is living.. So it’s interesting that despite our religion’s flexibility we, Saudi women, still forced by power of low to dress like the desert woman who lived at the Arabian peninsula 1400 years ago. I guess it is man’s
interpretations of Islam which always been used to back up different agendas across the years.
Ironically, despite restrictions, the supposedly unattractive outfit was transformed by those young Muslim girls to a mysterious and somehow “hot” dress. Colors, patterns and expensive fabric (what I like to call a woman’s touch) were integrated to it. Isn’t it a nature of a woman to try to look beautiful? Should the Saudi Motawa consider other means for preserving morality? Perhaps Men’s Veil?
Me, Abaya, self portrait
Here I am in the hotel room, day one.
American woman under cover
Let me preface this by saying that Riyadh is one of the most conservative cities in the Middle East. My experience here might be very different from other cities in Saudi Arabia so my observations are confined to this first time experience both in the Middle East and Saudi Arabia and in Riyadh. As I am required to wear the black Abaya I’d like to share my feelings and invite comments.
The mysteries of the abaya! have finally been revealed to me. My trip to Saudi Arabia had me obsessed with the costume change perhaps to the extreme. The idea of covering up my hair and body with a loose black cloak that reminds me of a judges robe in the American court system, fascinated me and I have to say, since I’ve been covering up I’ve never felt more liberated. Walking around the Diplomatic Quarters (kind of like an empty vacation spot with palm trees abound) you have a choice to cover up or not. There are times when I don’t want to be identified from a distance, wear my pajamas and not want to do my hair. This is where these things come in handy. Men look at me wherever I go in the DQ, but that’s true for every woman that passes. It’s a DQ activity and seems to be more out of curiosity. Most of them are after all guards standing outside all day protecting gateways and embassies. A woman walking alone is fair game but without an Abaya and head covering there is just more exposure to stares.
But I feel very safe. Nobody really comes near you or gets in your space or calls after you. Being stared at feels very familiar from my time in Korea and I’m quickly adapting to a very casual attitude about it.
At the grocery store, I know my body language is all off and too much eye contact is making the male cashiers uncomfortable, excited and or/ easily flustered when trying to find prices and count back change. I’m learning to avert my eyes a bit more. Single men don’t have it much easier. They might get kicked out of family sections at restaurants and if they don’t have any business being near woman’s products in the grocery store they might be shoved on (or nudged on).
Women get many exclusive places to workout, play tennis, swim and their own floor in one of the big shopping malls in the big tower downtown. On a side note, walking into the cosmetics store and seeing only men behind each counter was quite different. Imagine all your favorite brands, Clinique, Estee Lauder, etc. with Saudi men offering samples and giving product directions. I bought makeup remover from a very nice man who clearly told me to wait ten minutes before removing makeup, after application. He took his job very seriously.
This was a real role reversal compared to males in American society. Even though there aren’t laws indicating otherwise, certain jobs are still seen as women’s jobs in the U.S. Here, women are coveted as doctors, nurses and educators for other women students and patients.
I guess my conclusion is the Abaya and head covering is a cultural product that is expected in this region. It doesn’t seem restrictive but quickly feels like a part of me. Not wearing it would be like not going outside with your coat on when it’s cold, it just doesn’t feel right.
